November showed up unexpectedly, with no notice of imminent horrible news and surprises. This month has been really hard on me. It came and stayed very slowly, like a lazy animal crawling astride my feet. That is why, hours before November 2014 ends, I raise my glass and two of my longest fingers to celebrate its passing.
And because I don’t think I could mention here everything about my tumultuous relationship with cold November, perhaps I could give a picture of how I have been faring for the last thirty days.
To begin, I have not been reading any books; the last one I read was “Middlesex” by Jeffrey Eugenides, and it was in October. Lately, I am only reading whatever’s needed at work, those stories or essays I have to teach my students. And of course, I have not been writing also. I lost my drive to update this blog, and I apologize to those who were asking me wondering if I abandoned it already. No, I am definitely continuing to update. I just needed a hiatus ersatz sabbatical slash vacation-quasi-soul searching. Lastly, I haven’t been going out that much, except if I received invitations from friends. My mantra for November has been the pathetic: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. And the only activity I enjoy doing lately is running, which I haven’t done since last Monday because I have been really busy especially this week.
In the end, with all the problems and stints I needed to deal with this month, I discovered new capacities and learnt few new notes. I realized personal extents and limits. I recognized a rebirth. Only I didn’t anticipate all these would arrive in the hardest circumstances. And I’d say it sucked.
But the curious thing was this: I am still here. Alive. Typing a rant blog entry with sturdier fingers. It’s always nice to be back. Hello, December, my birth month. Perhaps you could begin my new year as early as later.
For the record, and I have to mention this because my real friends always put malice and loaded meanings to my words: heartbreak is not part of all these problems I dealt with. I only wish life’s problems are as easy as breaking up or being stood up for life.
So, this is it, November. Thank you, and good riddance!